Roses, Thorns and Tea for 2?

I woke this morning with a sore and scratchy throat, along with a troubled mind about an area of my life that is deeply meaningful and filled with emotional investment. I had been praying this morning about the need to see this area of my life differently, for I keep going through confusion, upset and preoccupation. I was praying for clarity and peace of mind.

With this area of concern fresh in mind, I put a tea kettle on to make tea; a double batch using two kinds of herbal remedies. The tea bags include a little message on each teabag tag, as it were. Both teabag messages were identical, and it struck me as something for me to pay close attention to.

The quote reads “He who wants a rose, must respect the thorn”

Messages with Tea today

The area of my life that I am working through, expressing myself as a vocalist and looking for musicians to perform with, holds a lot of emotional investment for me and there are strong worldly goals involved with this desire to express myself vocally. I am finding myself taking the circumstances involved very seriously, and I continue to have a lot of upset coming up to the surface to be healed.

My mind went back to the days of working in a flower shop where I was in charge of de-thorning all of the roses. This involved taking a small knife and running it along the stems to remove the thorny tips of every thorn, so that others would not be hurt by them. This resulted in gaining thick calluses on my fingers such that I could not feel the thorns anymore. While others were very sensitive to the thorns, I did not notice them anymore. It took time for these calluses to build, and was glad when they were in place because I was not being hurt anymore. I was completely unfazed by the thorns. Perhaps there was a message here about standing in my strength and placing myself in a position where I would be untouched by the thorns of the situations that I find myself in.

I set this memory aside and opened my Course in Miracles book to a random unmarked place in the text. The page I turned to was Chapter 20, section 2, titled “The Gift of Lilies”. As my eyes glanced down at the page, I immediately noticed a lot of highlighting and the word “thorns” mentioned several times. This is a section of ACIM that I have looked at many times. I strongly resonate with the symbolism of the white lilies of forgiveness that is mentioned in the Course.

This section begins with a reminder that gifts are not made through bodies, only through the mind, and that the mind decides what it would receive and give. It also states that every gift is an evaluation of the receiver and the giver, and that everything I offer is given to myself. In this circumstance I find myself in, I continue to receive the thorns of discontentment, fear and anxiety. I must be giving this experience to myself.

I have a choice as to what I offer my brother and therefore receive from myself: I offer a crown of thorns, or I offer lilies of forgiveness.

I offer a crown of thorns through seeking useless goals and special attention in the world, attracting my brothers to myself for my own aggrandizement and prideful satisfaction. I indeed have felt desperate to “prove myself” as a vocalist (this is strange because I am confident of my ability), and to be seen and recognized as “ the talented one”. There is a gift, a talent and passion to be shared, but it has been pursued with a need to be perfect and with a sense of urgency and pushing. This has led to suffering and confusion.

The lilies of forgiveness are described as the gift of non-judgment that I offer my brother and receive for myself simultaneously. It is the gift of purity, the recognition of divine innocence. Forgiveness looks on a brother and sees only the innocence beyond the appearance. It does not rely on the body and its senses. It relies on Vision, which looks beyond all errors and form to the truth of Oneness and unity.

Why have I been suffering so much in this area of my life that could be filled with joy and liberation? It’s obvious that I have been using the circumstances to gain something for myself that I value, rather than joining with the world in true openness and trust. My personal goals have become so important that this area of my life is not peaceful. I have taken the ego goals of specialness and pride to be my own goals, and I have suffered as a result.

I have offered the goal of being a vocalist and embodying my passion for singing to the Spirit for reinterpretation many times. And yet I still suffer. I must not have been willing to step back FULLY to give this goal over to the Holy Spirit for reinterpretation.

I know that the Spirit uses all of my special goals and aspirations to wake me up out of the dream of separation and suffering. But I must step back and be willing to accept his interpretation before I take further action. I have been unwilling to step back long enough to get clarity and peace of mind in this area of my life, otherwise I would be in peace and joy every step of the way.

I am now willing to step back completely, for I would not continue to suffer and strive for results in my life that may not even be suitable for my spiritual growth. I am reminded that I do not know what anything is for, or what anything means.

I am learning so much through this singing adventure, and there is much joy and collaboration in store for me. I recommit today to stepping back and letting Spirit guide my actions and my words. I am willing to let go of fear in order to surrender and let this process be blessed with beautiful joinings, collaborations, and new adventures without the need to try to direct the outcome.

The thorny goals I have kept are no longer worthwhile to me. Peace is my one goal, and I allow all things in my life to fall in line behind this single goal for peace… a peace and joy that does not waiver or change.

I trust that it is done. The power of my decision is the sole power behind all things in my life, and I use the power of choice now to choose peace in place of any worldly goal that I have held dear.

I give and receive the lilies of forgiveness, and let any thorny temptations be overlooked. I trust that blessings of liberation and heart opening experiences await me now. I pray to stay in this commitment and never look back to the old way of striving for worldly goals instead of peace.

Peace First!💕💕